Part 3 of the Big Island Trilogy, continued from Going Down in Waipio Town
As is probably clear by now, this blog is directed toward we twenty-somethings looking for genuine, unique, and preferably unprocessed travel revelry. Being on the Big Island, a relatively rural, quiet paradise, I enjoy my cowriter's revelations on life in the center of the universe (also known as SoCal). I know what to expect when I visit this Fall: hipness, happinenness, or hopeless, glorified pursuit of the former based on TV depictions of what life could be like, if we were only a little hotter or cooler.
I value my friend and colleague's depictions, his inside-looking-out perspective on the most popularized place in the world (It's as close as I will ever get to living like the peeps on Entourage, with all its fiction/reality hybrid style-it makes me want to move to LA now and start my own acting career) cause you really can't judge a place by its reality TV. Matter of fact, these reality shows are destroying reality, because they are causing real people to act like reality shows, which are a bunch of fluffy, semi-scripted, dramatized garbage (am I quoting Ryan, or is that my own idea, can't remember?) Point is, we all have these ideas about places, and many of them are a long way from reality.
My current expertise is the Big Island, an interesting little microcosm that I didn't really know a thing about until I made plans to move out. Being Hawaii, it is mostly characterized (and confused with) Oahu (another island in the state of Hawaii.) Oahu is where Honolulu is (the biggest city in the State of Hawaii) and Waikiki is the infamous hub of tourism within greater Honolulu. These areas, like certain sections of SoCal and LA, are but a narrow slice of the pie that is Hawaii, but make up most peoples' mental picture. Oahu may be the most populated and popularized part of Hawaii, but it is not real Hawaii. For those of you haoles looking for a Cancunesque, cater-to-the-tourists while snuffing out local culture vacation, go to Oahu, or Lahaina; there are more tourists than locals in these places, and you can find your Outback's and Lousi Vitton's so you feel right at home.
For those of you that are over that scene and like to have a few travel stories that aren't straight out of the advertisements, try the Big Island, Hawaii. Now in the last decade or so, Kona did add a Costco, a Wal-mart, and even a frickin Outback, but Hawaii (the island in the State of Hawaii) remains a wild, varied, and unprocessed alternative to stripmall style vacationing.
So for all you club-dependant youngsters, chain-store suckled oldsters, and vacation in a box believing boomers, it's time to step outside of the box, and create a trip that is a little more rugged, a little less predictable. On the Big Island fishing and camping take precedent over dressing up and spending money at trendy clubs, secret, salt and pepper beaches are more common than overrun, bleached white sand stretches, and you are better off in a 4x4 than the stupid convertible Mustang that even I am tempted to rent when on vacation. Another perk (if you give a shit about cultural integrity) is that the Big Island is still Hawaiian, as opposed to Haoled out investor-fest. The development is currently starting to creep in more and more, but there are still swaths of open, baren lava land and beaches where you may only see one other couple for hours. One bumper sticker explains many locals thoughts on the matter: "Keep Kona Country".
The benefits to the current state of things are many: you can still find riduculously good local food (see Pine Tree's Cafe in an earlier article) and Hawaiian People still have a say in what goes where (with the inevitable exceptions of areas where money won the hearts and minds of the land owners). There is also a decent amount of ancient Hawaiian Culture preserved here. Whether it be an ancient Heiau (Hawaiian Temple, some of which were used for sacrifice) in Kohala, or Pu'uhonua o' Honaunau in Kealakekua (an ancient Place of Refuge for those that broke sacred Kapu law, or even those escaping interisland war) the Hawaiian's have managed to hold onto a lot more of thier culture than any Native American tribe on the mainland, and it is goddamn refreshing to see. Despite the car dealerships, McDonalds, and heaps of hotels, when you come to Big Island, whether it be to visit or live, you can't change the place, you can only adapt to living Hawaiian Style.
Of course there are the inevitable challenges to living on a big black rock surrounded by ocean, and populated by polynesians and over-compensated haoles. One is that things on the Big Island happen a little more slowly. In many cases this is good-no worries and whatnot-but when it comes to building a road, one has to wonder how it can take 2-years to widen a 4 mile stretch of Highway. I won't soon forget watching one guy dig a ditch, while another sprayed a hose, and the remaining five simpy watched with irrational interest. But if you're traveling, and escaping the deadlines and details of some drudgery called a career, the pace may give you peace. You won't see as many people running the rat race, or if they are, they at least do it with a surf session in between races. The only traffic is because of the slow construction, but even that is nominal compared to 99% of cities in the world. Plus, it's hard to be stressed in traffic when you are staring at azure ocean to your right, and snow-capped Mauna Kea to your left; it is interesting to see people going 30 on the highway and smiling. People let you turn in front of them, you can lounge in the restaraunts, and everyday around 4pm there is a mini-celebration called pau hana, or finish work.
The second mini-challenge is some locals really enjoy scrapping. By scrapping, I mean brawling, or fighting, or battling, whatever you want to call it. I even remember back at Oregon State, some of the post-2am brawls were instigated by Hawaiian Boyz. Is it racist to say that fighting is part of thier cultural history? I think not. I have seen bar-closing fights at least 5 of the 10 times I stayed at Lulu's til close. Big, Beefy Boys, goin at it. "Like a lght," I heard one guy, possible a Samoan, not Hawaiian, say after he knocked another smaller dude out. Scary to watch sometimes, though rarely are people maimed or killed. It's almost accepted, and rarely stopped by cops since half the time they know them, and are more likely to say what up to the fighter than arrest him. Nepotism runs deep. The good news? A) Fists are a lot less dangerous than guns, knives, or gangs, all of which are probably present somewhere on this Island, but not out in the open. B) If you don't stay out til 2am at the bars, you probably will never have to deal with any of this! I have never heard of a visitor getting robbed, attacked, or fucked with in any way. So compared to a lot of places, this place is still the peaceful land of Aloha that most hope for.
Most of your time should be spent exploring the land anyway, not wandering the bars full of local dudes giving you stink eye. The true glory of the island can be found in the unique local joints, and the multitudinous destinations away from the urban centers. If you read the previous two blogs, you know a little about downtown, so we will leave that out, and you already know my favorite surf spot. The good news is Kona is a drop in the bucket of magma that is the big Island. If you are an avid reader, you also are well versed in Mauna Kea lore. So let's start with the simplest, yet most inriguing part of this mass of volcanos, the Kohala Coast. To find the best beaches, you have to talk to a local, and they will tell you how to get there, but here is a list of the chillest places.
1) 69's. Yep, 69's just like the position. I love the reactions I get when I tell people that yes, this is the beach you should take your kids. Tucked away fromt the crowds, and in the midst of a brilliant network of 4x4 roads, is a little gem for chillin and tippin a few back, or snorkeling, or both. You can even find the nudie beach if you look close...just follow the skin.
2) Kiholo Bay. You will see it a dozen times from the highway before you figure out how to actually get down there, and again, it helps to have a truck. Not only to the sea turtles run rampant in this crescent of blue water, but you may also find Queen's Bath. Imagine a small cave, in this case a lava tube, filled with fresh water from a stream. If you are brave, you can swim all the way to the back, spelunking and swimming at the same time in nearly pure, tepid waters. Again, ask a local how to get there.
3) Ke'ei. Yep Ke'ei. The last surfari we took to Ke'ei was rugged. The beach is near an old Hawaiian village, and fronted by old-school Hawaiian shacks, complete with sturdy, towering palm trees. The break is nasty, as the water depth goes from forty feet to four feet in 2 seconds, so the wave is a sucking, pitching mess that is hard to read. After chilling in this South Pacific wonderland with our frosty beverages, we got hungry, and in native fasion, knocked down, ripped open, and consumed a perfectly fresh coconut with nothing but a few rocks shells as tools. True Island living is hard to beat.
4) Kua Bay. Ok, this one is not rugged, but it is sick. It was while body surfing in these bright waters and watching Hawaiian Spinner dolphins flip and twist like aquatic ice-skaters that I decided I was going to make this my home. One of my favorite memories of Kua is skim boarding (poorly) for a few hours, and then taking a break to pound cupfulls of Kava with some friends that I happened to run into. One other pro/con of this land is that you get to know people quickly, and run into them often. We are a little displaced Island family sometimes, almost like exchange students in a land that was once foreign, but now familiar, and friendly.
So if you want the norm, go to Honolulu, or Lahaina, or someother oversold city with all the amenites that your pampered traveler can't go without. But when you are ready to barbeque between surf session on a undeveloped strech of white, 4x4 into the rugged reaches of newborn lava fields, or discover your own little snorkel haven that hasn't been stepped on by a million ignorant city folk before you, book you ticket to Kona, rent a jeep, pack the cooler, and come join the Ohana. Aloha still lives on the Big Island.